There’s something special about going to an outdoor gig during the summer, particularly when it’s actually sunny; a rarity in Ireland.
There’s a little game that you can play to pass the time between bands: Spot the non-music fans. They aren’t that hard to miss. Just short of wearing a t-shirt saying “Who’s playing?” they give away their relative musical disinterest with a few glaringly obvious signs.
They’re this drunk:
If someone is stumbling around the field/stadium/park flailing their arms in a drunk stupor, they are probably more interested in the €5 Captain Morgan Ice Teas than the band they paid quite a lot of money to see.
They only came to see The Coronas/Bressie:
Further explanation isn’t required here.
They are a walking festival attire cliché:
Why do girls automatically head for the flower headband, floral print, denim and cheese cloth/crochet look when they go to an outdoor concert or music festival? I mean, look how pretentious Vanessa Hudgens looks in that picture. It’s even easier to spot these people at stadium gigs; it’s as though they are just thrilled to be cool enough to wear wellies regardless of the plastic flooring covering the pitch. For more pictures of Vanessa Hudgens dressing like an idiot at music festivals check out this great post on Frillseeker.ie
They’re wearing Sandals/High Heels/Bare Feet:
Anyone walking around anywhere in public in their bare feet should be mentally examined but this is especially true in the case of an outdoor music festival. For some reason non-music lovers think that all fans of music are social-convention-free, peace, love and fungal nail infections; put your damn shoes on. As for sandals; anyone who has been to at least one big outdoor concert knows sandals are a bad idea what ever the weather. The sheer amount of walking involved is one reason to wear shoes that actually support your feet, never mind the amount of times someone will dance all over your toes. High Heels, as with the admission of loving a birra Bressie, needs no further explanation.
They view it as an opportunity to catch up with their friends:
Ever fought the urge to tell someone to shut the hell up while they shouted in your ear through a ballad at a concert? That person was more than likely not a music lover. They’ve had a skin full of rum and cheap pints of whatever, their feet are only aching because of their flip flops and their flower headband is digging into them giving them a headache, so they proceed to give you one. When the crowd proceeds to hush them they can be heard billowing: “OMG we’re all just here to have a laugh, like, jeeeeeesus.”